The Drama of Love
Let’s face it, we’re addicted to drama.
The Many Faces Of Drama
Our fascination and love affair with drama takes many turns. Not only do we seek it out in the news and movies (after all, a huge category in films is DRAMA), but often in our personal lives as well.
For example, years ago I left a relationship because it was boring! Boring is just, well, boring. Need I say more? You get the drift.
We seek out drama in news and our fascination with the morbid details of murder and mayhem. Come on, you know you enjoy it. I’m a criminal psychologist, what’s your excuse? 
Don’t get your dander up, I’m just playing with you a little.
There’s something infinitely interesting in exploring the places the human psyche is capable of going. The abhorrent can be rather compelling. You know the routine. You want to turn your head the other way when you drive past that accident…but you just have to take a quick look.
Relationship Drama
Let’s go back to love relationships for a moment. After all, that’s what this blog is about, relationships.
As an indication of how much we love drama in our relationships, think about how fun it is to share juicy details of your relationship with “the girls”. “Hey, guess what he did the other day”… Or, “Did you hear what happened to so and so”? I’m sure guys have their own version.
A Steady Diet of Drama
Some people are addicted to a steady diet of drama. Ouch, not fun!
Caroline Myss in Why People Don’t Heal discovered what she calls a language of woundology. http://www.youtube.com/Why People Don’t Heal She asserts that we converse and BOND around our wounds. Oh, you didn’t get chocolate cookies after school either…and we’re off and running.
The problem is, if you identify with your wounds you can’t heal. You all know someone who can’t stop talking about all the bad things that have happened to them. It seems that NOTHING GOOD CAN GET IN. It becomes a mindset. Now, I’m not saying that none of us are justifiably harmed so don’t go off the deep end about that. It’s about crossing over the river, as Myss says. Coping with our wounds and moving on, if we can, to have a meaningful, basically enjoyable life. And that is often a CHOICE.
Drama Is Boring
I don’t know about you, but in my younger years I really went for drama. I remember when I was 18 and my boyfriend and I used to argue nearly every day. I’d wake up thinking there was no way we could find something to argue about that day. Wrong! We’d find something.
After awhile, though, it wasn’t fun. I guess I’m not a true masochist. I moved on. Today, it’s hard to imagine it. Not to imply I don’t have issues like everyone else. I do so mistrust someone who says they have “NO BAGGAGE”. It’s a popular thing on dating sites. Are you friggin’ kidding me? What planet were you born on? As they say, denial isn’t a river in Egypt! But, back to drama.
Maybe it’s an inevitable part of aging, but drama becomes more unappealing after awhile.
Sure, I still like a good challenge, but when it comes to love relationship, I’m more inclined to like enjoyable, simple, easy.
What Level Of Drama Do You Have In Your Life?
- How much drama do you have in YOUR LIFE?
- What’s the drama about?
- Do you thrive on drama?
- Do you live on a steady diet of drama?
- Are you finding yourself bored if there hasn’t been a good shake-up in your life and do you create one?
- Do you live from meltdown to meltdown?
- Do you like the level of drama you have in your life?
These are hard issues to look at. We are trained into drama, by our cultures and sometimes our families. Also, some personality styles are more prone to drama and it’s not necessarily a ‘bad” thing. That is, unless your drama has consequences in your life that don’t feel good.
I’d love to hear from you about your drama experiences!
Have a great week and may you experience the best relationships ever with just the right amount of drama for you!
Photo Courtesy of: http://www.flickr.com/photos/southpaw2305/Identity Photogr@phy
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Lauren,
This post really grabbed my attention. I have very little drama in my life these days and little tolerance for it. Any bit of desire I still have for drama is more than satisfied by other peoples’ drama offered up on the Internet and in other media.
“Maybe it’s an inevitable part of aging, but drama becomes more unappealing after awhile.”
I hadn’t really thought about this before, but I think you’re exactly right. It’s not so much being too old for drama; it’s more a matter of having had enough drama to last me the rest of my life. There’s also the baggage that accumulates with aging, and I have plenty of that too.
I don’t miss drama one little bit!
Madeleine Kolb´s last blog ..More On Shingles- Viewer Discretion Advised
Hey Madeleine,
I’m right there with you – drama gets old. It’s so pleasant to just enjoy one’s days relatively drama-free. And pleasant is GOOD!
Nice to hear from you.
Lauren
Hi Lauren, I’m really not addicted to drama but I had to leave my footprint on this post because it is so damn compelling. I certainly pay attention to drama; it’s human nature to do so and gives us a convenient reason to bond. “The problem is, if you identify with your wounds you can’t heal.” — I wish everyone could hear this line because it’s so true. Identifyling with our wounds feeds that victim mentality and becomes an addictive drug. I can think of a few people in my midst who personify this very line.
As for “baggage”, you got that right. It simply isn’t possible to reach a certain age unscathed and without acquiring baggage. We all have it but this doesn’t mean we’re all drama-magnets.
Terrific post, as always.
Dear Belinda,
I hear ya about those who live in the drama of the wounds. I’m happy to say I get to pretty much avoid that scene.
And re: baggage. It amazes me when I hear someone say they have none. You, being a deep thinker and in touch with yourself, get it. I love that about you. A willingness to probe deeply.
Always nice to hear from you!
Lauren
Reminds me of an old song:
Drama!
What’s it good for?
Absolutely nothing!
But, I guess it’s okay, at some point, if we eventually learn from it and then drop it like it’s a hot coal. But if it’s allowed to hang around, the curtain might not ever drop to end the play.
Well, that’s enough of me trying to be the intellectual – which in and of itself is a bit dramatic. Oh, to be or not to be, that is the pregunta (smile).
Dear Ernesto,
Well put with just the right flare for drama. I love it: “But if it’s allowed to hang around, the curtain might not ever drop to end the play”.
Speaking of play, the weather here in Southern Cal. is so gorgeous I can think of nothing else. Hence, the work piled up next to my computer…Ah, but I’m looking out over the ocean as I speak.
Be well and hugs,
Lauren
” We are trained into drama, by our cultures..” Lauren, I never thought about that “being trained into drama” I certainly had plenty on drama in my life in the past – and I remember , at a certain point, wanting it to be gone for good. It wasn’t an easy transition and life without drama did feel “boring” at first – until I found the freedom in a “healthier” life.
It is a hard issue to look at – at something that is difficult to admit to, but it’s also an important issue to address.
Aileen´s last blog ..How Inspiration Created A Golden Opportunity
Dearest Aileen,
Yes, it is hard to admit to ourselves we’ve become “drama queens” or kings. When I first heard Caroline Myss’ Why People Don’t Heal it was like a light bulb going on in my head.
I know my family had plenty of drama and so does our culture. So, I had the opportunity to track the part of me that can fall into that victim mentality. Still catch the little critter taking off now and then!
Great hearing from you and hope all is well.
Big hugs,
Lauren