Going Home: The Agony and the Ecstasy

Homesick!  That’s how I’m feeling.  How do you feel when you think of heading home?

In a few short days I’ll be packing my bags and heading “home” to Pennsylvania.  Nostalgia has set in.  Lingering hours at the kitchen table with my mom.  Playing and hanging out with my nephews.

Long blissful times spent hanging with my little sister having great talks, her dragging me to the shopping mall – a torture I’ll only endure for her (I have to protest a little to make it more fun for her).

Shooting a few games of pool at the tavern with my brother who’ll graciously teach me a thing or two about the art that tends to run in the family.   Hanging with the uncle.  Watching the beautiful Susquehanna River flow by in all its majesty.

Driving in “normal” traffic, unlike my beloved California, and seeing the countryside and the Amish buggies with the wonderful garb.  Sometimes the kids will be riding alongside with their bicycles.   Eating food I can only get there – and would only eat there!  Seeing all my wonderful friends.  Mornings at the cafe.  Umm.

You know what I’m talking about!

Home Sweet Home

Esther Hicks once humorously commented:  “Homesickness is that sick feeling you get when y0u think of heading home”.  I mean, let’s face it, most of us haven’t exactly had Leave It To Beaver homes to grow up in.

And come to think of it, I would have hated to have endured such a “wholesome” family.  It’s not that there’s anything wrong with wholesome, it’s that the portrayal just isn’t real.  Truthfully, I could only behave that well for so long.  It feels stifling.

On the other hand, let’s face it, our family can push our buttons like nobody’s business - and imagine this  (bite my tongue) – we push their buttons too. As much as we love them, it can be downright nerve racking at times.  Still, ya gotta love ‘em.

Balancing It Out

The more years around the sun I have, the more I enjoy my trips home to be with my family.  Sure, we all have our flaws, who doesn’t?  And some families more than others.

Maybe part of growing up is accepting our family members for who they are and appreciating the great qualities they DO have,  You may become more generous and place  your focus on the good,  rather than paying total attention to what drives you crazy and makes you want to become a Freddy Krueger.

Naturally, I still slip into those moments when I’m home where I want to speak in tongues and thrash about as if possessed.  But, as the saying goes “It’s all good”. I wouldn’t have it any other way.  I adore my family even when they “make me crazy”.

Along with loving them more we learn to accept our own flaws too.  Come on, give yourself a big hug right now and recognize how cool you really are!

Dysfunctional Families

Well, let’s break it down.  Really, what families aren’t at least a teeny bit dysfunctional? Let’s get real.  I’m talking seriously dysfunctional.

The warm fuzzies about our families is great, but some people have been terribly harmed by family members.

In extreme cases, it may be best to not be with family at all. Or to limit your time with family. It can be re-traumatizing and you don’t need to subject yourself to further harm if you’re in this type of situation.

In these cases, the best you may be able to do is re-create a loving “family” of your own choosing.  Surround yourself with supportive people who treat you well and love you for who you are.

Forever Is A Myth

At some point it sinks in that forever is not real.  Recognizing this fact has helped me adore my family, and adore them I do.

Often when I’m home sitting with them, I remind myself to enjoy the moments and cherish them for the time will arrive when those moments are gone forever.

Be here now. Cherish what you do have.  There’s no place like home.  And home is more than a place, it’s a feeling.   Home is in our bones.

What Do You Experience?

How do you feel and what thoughts go through your head as you get ready to head home?

• What are your thoughts and feelings when you are planning a trip home?
• How is it being home?
• Has it changed over time?
• How have you changed?
• How has your family changed?
• What’s the most challenging part about going home?
• What’s the best part about going home?
• What about home do you carry with you?

Remember, for better or worse there’s no place like home!

Be well, and may you have the best trips home ever!

Photo Courtesy:  Esther Gibbons